wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was like eating out sand paper
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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