I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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