my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
