im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
