the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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