I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
