Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
