she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
kristin has been a bad kristin
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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