I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize