Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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