Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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