My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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