Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
