I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
