Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
