my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
