Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
