Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
