she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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