At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
