I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
