You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this beer tastes like vomit already
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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