Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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