Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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