you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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