you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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