Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
