the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
