what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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