Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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