There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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