Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
