I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
