it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
