he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
