Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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