Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
