So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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