so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
