After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
