i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
