Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
