Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
