so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
