You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
