i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize