Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
