it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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