You made me cry and you don't even care
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
