Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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