yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
