i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I need to align my fucking chakras
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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