I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
