You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
