he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
