Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
