So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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