Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize