I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish you could order shots online.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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