I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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