Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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