so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
