we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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