Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
