So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
