Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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